and you said cock pushups were impossible
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
