Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
