It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
