She is in my trunk
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Randomize
