these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
