Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just forgot I was standing up.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize