Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
