i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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