Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she looked like the before picture.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
