I wish i was in the wii world.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm bleeding and have questions
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
