apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
