I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
