I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
