Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
