is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
