She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Randomize
