Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
