Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
