when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Who died my cat blue again?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
