well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
