he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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