You're completely useless in the revolution.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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