Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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