I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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