just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
