I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
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