I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
