Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
