On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize