You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
