a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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