apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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