I am in a vortex of obligation.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I wear drunk well.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
