i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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