I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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