Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
