What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
