On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
