Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
