I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
