Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
