Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
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