I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
