Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
