So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
