I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
