im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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