I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
