Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
