we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
