I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
