ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Randomize