too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
