i just wanna soil my oats bro
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
