come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
