ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
