he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
