Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
