the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
