He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
